1. Loudly ask if it's Edward's body that stinks or if it's just the funeral home.

2. When you're by the body, start having a conversation with the corpse.

3. Try to steal something from the body, go through the pockets.

4. Open their eyes.

5. Purposely position their arms differently, or have them giving the middle finger.

6. Fart loudly and blame it on the dead guy.

7. During the ceremony, talk on your cell phone (talk loudly, laugh a lot, say "No, this isn't a bad time").

8. When they say "He was a devoted and loving father" say, *cough* BULLSHIT *cough*.

9. Go to a funeral of someone you don't know and sob loudly through the entire session.

10. Skip the funeral, but show up for the meal afterwards.

11. If you're giving a speech, say he had it coming.

12. If you're giving a speech, say you're surprised he didn't die of aids from all the times he cheated on his wife.