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GREEN BAY PACKER'S SCHEDULE FOR 2005:
Sept 12 -Green Bay Jr. High School
Sept 19 -Cub Scout Troop 101
Sept 26 -Wisconsin Blind Academy
Oct 3 -Spanish American War Vets
Oct 10 -Crippled Children's Home
Oct 17 -St. Pauls Home for the Wayward
Oct 24 -Girl Scout Troop 469
Nov 1 -Wisconsin VD Clinic Post
Nov 7 -Green Bay Boys Choir
Nov 14 -Vietnam War Amputees
Nov 21 -VA Hospital Polio Patients
Nov 28 -Wisconsin Nuns
SPECIAL MONDAY NIGHT GAME: Dec 8 -Girls Powder Puff Team
Dec. 14 -Green Bay Nursing Home Residents.
Dec. 21 -Madison Kindergarten Class
Dec. 28 -Wisconsin Nut House
RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR:
1. When playing polio patients, the Packers must not disconnect leg braces.
2. When playing Girl Scouts, the Packers must not eat their cookies.
3. When playing Blind Academy, the Packers must not hide the football under their jerseys.
4. When playing Vietnam War Amputees, the Packers must not file any protest about players with one leg being hard to tackle.
RULES THE SAME AS LAST YEAR:
1. A touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over the goal for all you Packer fans who haven't seen many) is still
worth 21 points.
2. The Packers will be allowed 27 men on the field at all times.
3. The Packers will be allowed to substitute with band members at any time during the course of the game.
4. The Packers will be allowed 20 time-outs as opposed to 3 for the other teams.
5. The Packers will be awarded a first down with each gain of 3 yards or more.
Did you hear that Green Bay and Tampa Bay are going to merge next year? They are going to call them the Tampax.
What do the Packers have in common with Monica Lewinsky? They both kneel to purple helmets, they both "Suck"
and they both "Blew" the big one in 1997.
Do you know why geese fly upside down over Wisconsin? Cause it aint worth a shit.
What does a blonde and the Packers have in common? They both suck for 4 quarters.
Did you hear why Brett Favre can't get in his driveway? Somebody painted an end zone in it.
Where do Packer Fans go during a tornado? Lambeau field, there hasn't been a touchdown there in years.
Did you hear that Iowa got turned down to have a professional football team? Because Wisconsin would want one too.
What do the Green Bay Packers and The Los Angeles Police Department have in common? Neither can stop a Bronco!
How do you castrate Brett Favre? Kick his sister in the mouth.
What do you call a Packer fan with half a brain? Gifted
Three football fans were on their way to a game when 1 noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road.
They stopped a female body. Out of respect, the Charger fan took off his hat and placed it over her right breast. The 49er
fan took off his hat and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Packer fan took off his hat and placed
it over her crotch. The police were called and when they arrived, the officer conducted his inspection. First, he lifted up
the Charger hat, replaced it, and wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the 49er hat, replaced it, and wrote down some notes.
The officer then lifted the Packer hat, replaced it, then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third time, replaced it.
The Packer fan was getting upset and asked, "What are you, a pervert or something"? "You keep lifting and
looking lifting and looking". The officer said, "No, I am just surprised; normally when I look under a Packer hat,
I find an asshole".
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