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1. Wear a T-Shirt with a seat belt logo across it when riding in a vehicle.
2. Attempt to have phone sex with Miss Cleo.
3. They should have a tractor with rims, just like rapper's cars. (wheel chair, roller blades, baby stroller, Amish buggy,
tricycle, construction vehicles, 18 wheelers, training wheels, wheel barrel, etc.)
4. Much like the last idea, have those vehicles with hydraulics also.
5. They should have it so that someone sets the alarm on their bicycle using their key chain.
6. They should come out with unique brands of air freshners (or cologne) such as manure, barnyard, skunk, shit, vomit,
urine, bad b o, nursing home, morgue, rotting road kill, baby diaper, or anything else that has a unique smell to it.
7. Lotion should be in a penis shaped container.
8. They should have a vagina shaped pencil sharpener.
9. They always have strange crayon colors such as dandelion yellow, brick red, etc. I have a few of my own: Period Red,
Semen White, Urine Yellow, Baby Diaper Smudge Brown, Pussy Pink, Penis Head Purple, etc.
10. Stare at a woman's breasts. When asked to stop, just say that you were reading her shirt. (Make sure the shirt is
blank of course, that should go over quite well).
11. When you see a rock concert, many times the lead guitarist will slam and break his guitar. They should have a parody
of that where someone playing an accordion does the same thing. Or if it's a school band, maybe do it with a trumpet, flute,
etc.
12. You know your obsessed with carbs when you don't want to feed ducks bread because that would be too many carbs.
13. Bad gift idea for bf/gf: A necklace of your four wisdom teeth, make sure they still have dried up blood on them as
well.
14. Take a pet of yours that's been dead for at least a week to the vet. Say something like "I don't know what's
wrong with him, he won't eat anything. He won't respond to his name. He's been really lazy lately, lays in the same spot all
day. He's had really bad gas which stinks something awful. He seems really stiff and just can't seem to relax."
15. Have a woman tell her husband that she has bad news...that she was "late" this month. Have them argue for
a while until she says something about how she was late paying the bills this month, OF COURSE.
16. They should have edible baby diapers, if they can have edible underwear, they can have edible diapers too.
17. If parents are concerned that their kids won't eat broccoli, put nicotine in it. Not only will the kids eat it, they'll
be addicted to it.
18. Have strange flavored gum, milkshakes whatever. Have you tried our new Pickle Milkshake? Guacamole, Salt, Vinegar,
Ketchup, Mustard, Onion, etc.
19. It's only a matter of time before we have to call babies "Young Adults". Retards are handicapped or handicapable,
midgets are little people, etc.
20. The car named the Celebrity would never be driven by one.
21. For a bathroom sign instead of having a male figure in pants and a female figure with a dress, just put a penis and
a vagina to avoid all confusion. Get straight to the point.
22. Don't scented markers send great message to children? Why not make glue smell good too, and paint thinner, you know,
for the kids?
23. New Twist on a song: Hey Preacher (not teacher) leave those kids alone!
24. They should have redneck braces for teeth. Braces that buck your teeth out, because they're too straight. "These
braces will have you looking redneck in no time."
25. I've heard that Amish pay men to have sex with some of their women because they're too closely related. I would do
that, but I don't know what I'd be getting myself into...
literally.
26. When at work, in front of customers ask your boss if you can take a piss while holding your groin.
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