For those of you who don't know, Yahoo Pool is where you can play the game pool online. You can also talk to your opponent and have other people join your table to talk and/or watch the game. After a while, I decided to act weird (for those of you who know me, maybe I wasn't acting) and see how people reacted to it. Here's a list of some of my pool indentities:

1. Retard- He usually starts out saying hello or hi 7 or 8 times before he quits saying it, bad speller. Goes to special school cause he's a special person. If asked about special needs, he needs people to wipe his ass for him, etc.

2. Model- Obsessed with himself, his body. Always talks about how hot and skinny he is and how good he is at modeling.

3. Black- Is always accusing people of being racist, you're just saying that cause I'm black. REAL cocky, everyone else is cracker, casper, qu-tip, snow white, etc. He lives in da ghetto, the streets, the bronx, tha hood, he is dirt poor. Law trouble, lot's of siblings. Name is Jamal, Taheed, Terrel, Malik, etc. Ain't that right dog? Yeah homie? I talks like I black. Yeah Nigga, Brotha.

4. Midget- Must be referred to as "Little Person". Talks about his large penis, tripod. Says his penis is bigger than theirs.

5. Slut- Everything said is sickly twisted and distorted to something sexual. "I like how you handle your stick. I've handled a few sticks in my day, if you know what I mean. I like the way you whack your balls, etc."

6. Old- You are over 70, and you're using your grandson's laptop. Doesn't know anything current, talk about the World War's or Vietnam a lot. Tell them to take it easy because your arthritis is acting up again.

7. Young- You are 10 or under. You can't spell that good, you talk about kid things, ask them what their favorite cartoon is. Talk about Pokemon.

8. Priest- You are very religious, if they swear, you say god bless you. Tell them that they have sinned and that they need to cleanse their soul. Ask them if they have a confession to make and have them confess to you.

9. Canadian- Canadian Aye. Talk French or something.

10. English- Just look at my record, I have loads of wins mate. Don't talk about my mum like that. That's a brill Idea! Sorry, I was using the loo, favourite colour, etc.

11. Insane- Talk about how you have to be nice because my psychiatrist says I can't get out of control again. I'm in my happy place, robbing a liquor store, killing someone, or on a nude beach.

12. Therapist- Not be confused with "The Rapist". I am only here to help. So what problems do you have, other than being a horrible pool player? They will usually say they don't have a problem, then tell them the first step is admitting they have a problem. Keep on typing lol (Laugh Out Loud), after a while do it in all CAPS if they still say they are good at pool.

13. Amish- You are using the computer at the local library, you're curious about the internet and the way it works. You know NOTHING about slang, music, etc. You are very nice regardless what anyone says to you. Go on to talk about your 18 siblings, etc.

14. Latino- Es querio des ni nopino tueress.

15. Shemale- If asked asl, either 19 ? mn or 19 both mn. Talk about how you are going to have a vagina inserted behind your sack and how you can then fuck yourself.

16. Incest- Keep talking about how you miss your sister, then go on to say she's on vacation somewhere, then if anyone asks what's the big deal? Then say "You try going two weeks without sex." Say it's not the weird where I come from (Iowa, Texas, Canada, or wherever THEY are from)

17. Perfectionist- Everything has to be said and spelled PERFECTLY. If they say, u r good, you say, "Did you mean YOU ARE good? Be very picky and correct every god given error they make, including capital letters and periods.

18. Missspeler- Perposly mispel allmost evry wurd yu tipe. Use wurds rong two like,"Woodn't yu like two have red that".

19. Jehovah Witness- Try telling people that the Jehovah way is the true way. Talk about how "pure" being a Jehovah is. Make it sound inviting, and if they ever talk about anything, some how make it come back to Jehovah. Like if they talk about music, just start talking about how it was Jehovah who invented music or some other far fetched crap.

20. Severe Mood Changes- (Me, Myself, & Irene) First off say "hi". Then before they can even answer, say I SAID HI, then if they say hello, say not hello, HI, make them say it. "Can you say HI for me?" If you find someone that's really pissing you off, let's say their name is Brett Favre, say "I have only one thing to say to you so you better listen to me Brett and you listen good, cause I ain't afraid to go back to prison (quote from Bad Boys 2)." Then keep saying offensive things to them. Then if you get booted, try to get someone to get you back, then once you're back, (or if you weren't kicked either) all of a sudden tell them how sorry you are and you can't believe you just said that, then after sucking up for a few minutes, blow up on them again.

21. Easily Offended- You're a ticking time bomb, and it doesn't take much to tick you off. If they so much as say hi, act like they just harassed you something awful, dwell on it. If they say how sorry they are, be in denial and say something like, "you're just saying that to make me feel better", then blow up on them again for that.

22. Gay- You say shit like, "Oh my god, I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO happy right now!!!:)" You big silly goose, or you big silly. The first time I got penetrated, I screamed like a little girl, now I squeal like a pig. Now I can stick my fist up there with ease.

23. Psychic- (at least 3 people at table) Works better if you are playing with someone you know, either be "psychic" on them or have them talk to the other person, tell you about them on MSN, then later join their table and predict away. Like if the state is Iowa, say it's somewhere in the Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa, South Dakota, Nebraska area. Don't be too obvious, but just close.