1. When waiting for girlfriend to get ready and you have time to talk to her dad say, "I think tonights the night if you know what I mean", then wink at him.

2. Say, "I think I'm getting lucky tonight."

3. Or when she's walking down the stairs, lighty elbow the dad and whisper, "I'm gonna hit that tonight", then show him a roll of condoms.

4. "Have we done anything? Hell, her legs spread like warm butter!"

5. Ask her dad if he has any tips so she'll put out.

6. If he asks if you're a virgin, keep laughing hysterically.

7. Ask him "So, does your wife also cry during sex? Just wondering if it's genetic."

8. When you're waiting for them to get ready, and he calls the girl down, say "I mean your other daughter, the one that's five."

9. "If I was only in it for the sex, then I'd date your wife."

10. "Have we had sex? Eight months and you'll be a grandpa."

11. "Yeah, I plan to take her to the bar to get her ass drunk, then my buddies and I will fuck the shit out of her when she's passed out. Don't worry, I'll have her home by 11:30 for sure, Sir."