1. Ask the cop if you can use his pepper spray to "spice up" your takeout.

2. When he walks up to you, look at his gut and say "I thought you had to be physically fit to be a cop."

3. Ask if his bulletproof vest would protect him from projectile vomiting.

4. Ask him if you can take his squad car out for a joy ride.

5. When he asks you for your license say, "Oh sure officer, I could reach it if you'd hold my beer."

6. Explain speeding with, "See officer, I was driving along when I dropped my bag of crack. I tried to pick it up but, when I did, my gun fell and jammed my foot against the gas pedal."

7. Lie on the ground and ask him to draw your outline in chalk.

8. Tell him you wanted to be a cop but decided to graduate high school instead.

9. Try to bribe him with chucky cheese tokens.

10. Try to bribe him with one-dollar bills. When he declines, remind him that "with 10-10-220 you can get all calls up to twenty minutes for 99 cents."

11. Pay all ticket fines with pennies.

12. When you spot some cops with a radar gun pull over, show them a hair dryer and yell, "I've got one too!"

13. Say to him, "Don't check the trunk. Nope, nothing in there."

14. When the cop is talking to you, ignore him and roll your window up and down while looking amazed that it does that.

15. Ask him what he is doing out so late.

16. Throw the cop's nightstick and tell the police dog to go fetch.

17. When he tries to open the door taunt him by locking the door when he tries to open it, then unlocking it when he looks away. Repeat this several times.

18. When he tells you to put your hands on the hood, walk to his car and put your hands on his hood.

19. Say to him "Darn, officer you must of been going fast to keep up with me!!"

20. When he walks up to you have the radio full blast, look forward without saying a word.

21. When he ask you to walk the straight line, "Riverdance" instead.

22. When he asks you to say your alphabet backwards count backwards from ten instead.

23.When he asks you to touch your nose, poke yourself in the eye and start acting like Curly from the Three Stooges.

24. Keep his pen.

25. If they put you in the back of the squad car, sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" loudly and obnoxiously over and over all the way to the Police Dept.

26. Say "Could you tighten these cuffs? My hands don't hurt yet."

27. Instead of pleading the fifth amendment plead the 13th or the 18th Instead.