1. Spend all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing how long it will take until your free refills cost money.

2. If paged, wait until midnight to answer the call.

3. When attending a movie you've already seen, yell out: ''Don't let him in! He's the killer!''

4. When buying a goldfish at a pet store, ask the salesperson how often you should walk it.

5. When in a crowded elevator, say loudly: ''I hope I fixed it this time.''

6. Beep when a large person backs up.

7. Look around suspiciously in public and tell onlookers about the ''little men.''

8. Occasionally talk into your hand in public.

9. Carry a duffel bag onto an elevator, wait until it's full, then ask if anyone knows how to disarm a bomb in less than 19 seconds.

10 Insist that someone accompany you to the public rest room because of Henry, the toilet monster.

11 While carpooling, make swervy turns while imitating crash noises.