1) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes.

2) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would.

3) Gossip about someone to their face.

4) Answer every question with a question.

5) Repeat yourself constantly.

6) Act like a member of the opposite sex.

7) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons.

8) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks.

9) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else.

10) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries.

11) One word: Caffeine.

12)stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

13) Speak in rapid Spanish.

14) Pretend not to know about the rule of personal space.

15) You are better than everybody else. Let them know so.

16) Rudely correct everybody's grammar.

17) Pretend to be drunk.

18) Groom yourself while standing backwards (towards everybody) in an elevator.

19) Pretend your name is Cletus Atkins Wheatherby Percival Smith, and don't answer to anything else.

20) Lick your lips constantly, acting as if doing so is pleasurable.

21) Pretend to be high.

22) Blink rapidly and constantly.

23) Scratch yourself constantly. I am not saying where.