1. I Brake for no apparent reason.
2. Learn from your parents' mistakes -- use birth control.
3. I love cats...they taste just like chicken.
4. If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
5. Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
6. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
7. Few women admit their age; fewer men act it.
8. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
9. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
10. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
11. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
12. I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.
13. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
14. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
15. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
16. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
17. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
18. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
19. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
20. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
21. Does this condom make me look fat?